So I woke up this morning at about 8 p.m. and I could tell that it was just going to be one of those days. You know, the ones where you wonder why you’re even doing what you’re doing anymore, when you start to question if you’re just living your life by what’s “responsible” and not at all by what’s right.

More and more each day I wonder if it’s all even worth finishing, if school will even give me anything worth finishing it for.

Dr. Pepper, I seriously could go for some carbonated prune juice right now, something about that seems to be the most important thing in the universe right now.

But I digress; I seriously don’t know what I’m doing with my life right now. When it comes down to it, what I really wish is that I could get a decently popular web page and put what ever I want up on it an make a living that way. Combined with the occasional flash game I could easily make a decent living (decent, not a wonderful one). But then again what do I really need that’d warrant a fancy paycheck anyway?

I need to finish my research project, and my research paper, and my critical thought assignment, and both my perfectly rendered 2d design projects I haven’t started.

School is the path to a successful career, but I have yet to see any evidence that there is such a thing as a successful career. Careers give people all the money they could ever want, yet simultaneously sucking any meaning out of it what so ever. Careers allow people to go from wishing they could buy things to wishing they had the free time to use the things they’ve bought. Careers tare apart families and make people hate to wake up in the morning.

Tell me, what has one really gained from all the hard work in their life if they hate waking up in the morning? Even with the financial stability, fancy cars, premium insurance and suburban home how do you possibly justify not wanting to get up and live another day in your life as a “success.”

School will get me a career, but I don’t want a career, so why do I go to school? I learn things, I meet people, that’s always a plus. Maybe I’ve just spent too much on it now that I’d be a waster to not finish it, even though I probably won’t use any of it.

I’ve got so much work to do, I’ve got so many readings to finish, I’ve got no time to update my website, to finish my next game. The one thing that’s supposed to “ provide me with a well established future” is the one thing keeping me from doing what I really want to (as well as from making any money, ironically).

I could really use a Dr. Pepper right now, for some reason I think that it might taste like paradise.

I had $1.44 in my bank account, and now I have a cold 2 litter of Dr. Pepper and nine cents. It tastes every bit as good as I imagined it would be. Right now, sipping this soda, I have everything I want.

I’m happy.

Nostalgia

Nostalgia is my drug, my guilty pleasure, my vice. It is not just the recollection of times past, but of a feeling, an emotion that I can never quite define or even hope to express in words. More often then I should I find myself lost in my own past, recalling a time when the world was riddled with decay and yet so ripe with possibilities. I was a time of hope and aspiration when I truly believed that the countless thoughts I had in my head could truly changed the world. I was inspired by all I saw that needed changing in this world, and by all the good that I believed could over come it. Aids in Africa, world poverty, a flawed education system, and people lost in a depression brought on by a corrupt consumer driven society’s lie that slaving away for a career would make them happy. I saw all of these problems yet at the same time the solution to them seemed to be staring me right in the face. There was enough food, there was enough medicine, there was enough information and there was enough money, there simply wasn’t enough distribution. The few had the most, and the most had the fewest. Why did everyone make it more complex then that? The world wasn’t evil, it wasn’t hopeless, it wasn’t lost; it was just out of balance. So why not just recalibrate it? It was a simple solution to all of our greatest problems.

I didn’t believe that people where evil, just misinformed. Countless Americans woke up every day stressing themselves about school and work, striving to achieve in order to align themselves with the flawed and narrow definition of success that had bad fed to them by plastic women on television and square shaped old men in ties. They fought so hard for nothing. They were simply unaware that by any true definition they were already wealthy, that whether they were a CEO or a burger flipper made no difference in weather or not they were successful. They didn’t know that each of them had the power to be a hero, to save someone’s life for mere pocket change. They didn’t know that by simply owning a computer they were already in the richest 10% of the planet. They had been tricked into keeping up with the Joneses, despite the fact that no one even likes the Joneses anyway. They thought they should envy men who live in big empty mansion, men who die cold and alone. They thought that spending money for the sake of showing you can was a good a thing, that stars who own their own islands where heroes.

They weren’t evil; they just didn’t know is all. So I figured that all I had to do was tell them. Tell them how stupid it is to sell there childhood for a mark on a piece of paper. Tell them that poverty stricken children in third world countries probably laugh and play more then they do. Tell them that there is no point in owning more toys then Joneses if you’re never home to use them. Tell them that trading family for a promotion is the most demeaning thing a person could do to themselves that “independence” is just another word for loneliness.

Tell them to be grateful in what they have, and instead of flaunting what they can afford to waste that they should take pride in what they can spare.

It is always better to be poor and happy then wealthy and sad.

It was all so simple, so easy. All I had to do was show them and whole world would be a better place. I even had the means to do it, the talent to tell stories and to create art. I could express myself in a way words never could, I would use my art to broadcast my feelings and from there it would spread from person to person until we all just sat back and said “Man, I can’t believe we tried so hard when life was really just so simple.”

It was a simple feeling. That fire inside that makes you feel like you can save the world, like you can do something that matters.

It comes back to me from time to time, and every time it does I feel higher then any chemical could ever make me.

Nostalgia is my drug, and one day I’d like to share it with you.

In local news, resident self-loving bigot Ernie Chambers has filed a law suit against the almighty in response to various natural disasters which he considers to be acts of “terrorism.” Yesterday the Nebraska senator took a few moments away from his usual routine of masturbating about pictures of himself to grace us with a T.V. interview, during which he made a feeble attempt to explain how this law suit is a valid political statement and not just a desperately pathetic cry for attention. After spewing out a few political buzz words like “Moral Right” Ernie went on to join the ranks of every twelve year old on DeviantArt and blamed God for all wars and terrorism. Ironically, the inter-racial marriage hating elitist then went on to condemn narrow minded bigots who abuse the legal system to get legislation passed via frivolous law suits. Chambers’ narrow minded law suit may soon put him up against legal trouble in the near future as it will more then likely be labeled frivolous and possibly put him in contempt of court.

While I realize that Ernie will more then likely never read this, I will none the less take this time to speak a few words to our beloved senator.

To the pathetic self righteous attention whore that is Ernie Chambers, just because acting like a retard and suing God gets you into national news it by no means make you an important man. You are a whiny crybaby who thinks just because your brand of racial hate is socially acceptable that it isn’t wrong. Marring a white woman doesn’t make a black man a traitor to his race, but firing a black man for doing so does make you a disgrace to all man kind. You are an abomination, no better then the men in white hoods or red swastikas. Now stop desperately pleading for this nation’s media to shine its spotlight on your pathetic little blip of an existence. You aren’t a martyr, you aren’t a hero, you aren’t even a leader.


[link]

Original English Text:
we are all but fleeting stars, lost in an ocean of doubt

Translated to French:
nous sommes presque passager tient le premier rôle, a détruit dans un
océan de doute

Translated back to English:
we are almost momentary holds the first role, destroyed in an ocean of
doubt

Translated to German:
wir sind fast momentane Einflüsse die erste Rolle, zerstört in einem
Ozean des Zweifels

Translated back to English:
we are destroyed influences almost momentary the first role, in an
ocean of the doubt

Translated to Italian:
siamo influenze distrutte quasi momentanee il primo ruolo, in
un oceano del dubbio

Translated back to English:
we are destroyed infuences nearly momentary the first role, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to Portuguese:
nós somos infuences destruídos quase momentâneos o primeiro papel,
no oceano da dúvida

Translated back to English:
we are infuences destroyed the first paper almost momentary, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to Spanish:
somos infuences destruidos el primer papel casi momentáneo, en el
océano de la duda

Translated back to English:
we are infuences destroyed the first almost momentary paper, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to French:
nous sommes des infuences détruits le premier papier presque
momentané, dans l'océan du doute

Translated back to English:
we are infuences destroyed the first almost temporary paper, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to German:
wir sind infuences zerstört dem ersten fast temporären Papier, im
Ozean des Zweifels

Translated back to English:
we are infuences destroy the first almost temporary paper, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to Italian:
siamo infuences distruggiamo la prima carta quasi provvisoria,
nell'oceano del dubbio

Translated back to English:
we are infuences we destroy the first nearly temporary paper, in the
ocean of the doubt

Translated to Portuguese:
nós somos infuences que nós destruímos o primeiro papel quase
provisório, no oceano da dúvida

Translated back to English:
we are infuences that we destroy the first paper almost provisory, in
the ocean of the doubt

Translated to Spanish:
somos infuences que destruimos el primer papel casi provisory, en el
océano de la duda

Translated back to English:
we are infuences that we destroyed the first paper almost provisory,
in the ocean of the doubt

Translated to French:
nous sommes des infuences que nous avons détruit le premier papier
presque provisory, dans l'océan du doute

Translated back to English:
we are infuences which we destroyed the first paper almost provisory,
in the ocean of the doubt

Translated to German:
wir sind infuences, denen wir das erste provisory Papier fast
zerstörten, im Ozean des Zweifels

Translated back to English:
we are infuences, those we the first provisory paper almost destroyed,
in the ocean of the doubt

Translated to Italian:
siamo infuences, quelli noi la prima carta provisory quasi
distrutta, nell'oceano del dubbio

Translated back to English:
are infuences, those we it first paper provisory nearly destroyed, in
the ocean of the doubt

Translated to Portuguese:
são os infuences, aqueles nós ele destruído quase provisory do
primeiro papel, no oceano da dúvida

Translated back to English:
they are infuences, those we it destroyed almost provisory of the
first paper, in the ocean of the doubt

Translated to Spanish:
son infuences, ésos nosotros que destruyó casi provisory del primer
papel, en el océano de la duda

Translated back to English:
they are infuences, those we whom provisory of the first paper
destroyed almost, in the ocean of the doubt

So, what does it mean to support someone?

Well I suppose that it means that I want to inform as many people as I can about them and let them just speak for themselves.

so here you go: [link]

just some food for thought.

Give him a try, I haven't yet decided 100% if I'd vote for this guy, but I like the idea of him more and more each day.